Shooting Oneself in the Foot

Can somebody tell me why most of the teams I’ve supported during my lifetime invariably shoot themselves in the foot sending a dagger through my heart. The latest disappointment was Wales losing to France in the rugby World Cup semi-final by the slender margin of 8-9.

The previous day I discovered the game was being televised on some obscure cable channel (channel 245) tucked away in the outer reaches of home shopping and Jerry Springer re-runs. I elected to pre-record the game to avoid having to get up at the unearthly hour of 4.00am, and I was sitting in front of my screen at approximately 7.30am proudly wearing my Welsh rugby shirt eagerly awaiting the referee’s whistle to start proceedings.

The game began promisingly for Wales and they quickly gained an early lead from a penalty by James Hook. The team was growing in confidence as the match progressed, and looked likely to make another score until the game was turned on its head quite literally.

In the 16th minute, the Welsh captain, Sam Warburton, performed a spear tackle on a French wing three-quarter which a Zulu warrior would envy, and was shown the red card reducing Wales to 14 men for the remainder of the game. It wasn’t malicious but it was a dangerous tackle all the same. I stared open mouthed at the TV screen completely stunned watching Warburton trudge dejectedly off the field taking a nation’s dreams and aspirations with him.

 It is to Walescredit that they nearly won. France didn’t offer much in terms of attacking options and were content to win the game with penalty kicks. James Hook missed two kickable penalties and Leigh Halfpenny went agonizingly close with a long range attempt in the final minutes. Mike Phillips should have attempted to get closer to the posts when scoring the game’s only try but was too busy celebrating crossing the line.

It reminded me of the day Swansea Town reached the semi-final of the FA Cup in 1964; long before the dark side invaded our comfort zone. On the way they had knocked out three first division teams: Sheffield United, Stoke City and the mighty Liverpool on their own turf at Anfield. Their opponents in the semi-final were a fellow second division team Preston North End who they had defeated 5-1 in the league a few weeks earlier.

The Swans led 1-0 at half time following a Jimmy McLaughlin goal, but Preston scored an equalizer early in the second half and the match was drifting towards extra time until disaster struck. Swansea’s goal keeper Noel Dwyer was on a walkabout in his penalty area when Preston’s center half Tony Singleton latched onto the ball around the halfway line. He took a few steps before unleashing a shot from nearly 40 yards which flew over Dwyer’s head into an empty net. Game over and the dreams (maybe the Welsh are a bunch of daydreamers) of thousands of rain sodden fans from South Wales were shattered at Villa Park.

Long suffering Welsh fans have nightmares (dreams/nightmares; it has a touch of Harry Potter) over failing to qualify for the FIFA world cup finals in 1978 and 1986. Each time they were pipped at the post by Scotland as a result of two dubious penalty decisions which were created by the naivety of Welsh defenders. Joe Jordan was the original “hand of God” merchant.

Who can forget the Atlanta Braves’ attempt to retain the World Series in 1996? They won the first two games of a best of seven series in New York and were leading 6-3 in the first home game. Braves closer Mark Wohlers entered the fray in the 8th inning and needed to strike out a pinch hitter to move into the final innings and take a virtually unassailable 3-0 lead.

Jim Leyritz was little more than a journey man back up catcher with very little pedigree. Unfortunately nobody had shown him the script and he unceremoniously blasted Wohlers’ fast ball out of the park for a three run homer to tie the score. The Yankees went on to win the game and never trailed again winning the series 4-2.

In 1999 the Atlanta Falcons were in the Super Bowl for the first time in their history facing the Denver Broncos in Miami. In the early hours of the morning on game day, Eugene Robinson, self-appointed spiritual leader of the team, was arrested for propositioning a hooker who just happened to be an under cover police officer. Robinson and several other players spent several hours at the police station which was not an ideal way to prepare for the biggest game of your sporting life. Needless to say Robinson was torched a couple of times for touchdowns and Denver were comfortable winners.

 Staying with the oval ball, underwhelming France plays New Zealand next Sunday for the ultimate prize in international rugby. The All Blacks demolished Australia in the other semi-final and are hot favorites to win the cup for the second time. However not so fast my friends, as they have experienced moments in previous world cup tournaments when the team imploded. I would be wary of the French if I was a Kiwi because on their day they can beat anyone including New Zealand.

Quote of the week: My friend Nick recently had his car serviced and when he arrived to pick his car up the mechanic asked him: “Do you want me to grease your rear end, Sir?” Without batting an eyelid Nick replied: “Shall I drop my trousers and bend over?”

Leave a Reply