A couple of bizarre stories came out of Oregon during the past 10 days which I can personally relate to. Karen Butler, a 56-year old tax consultant from Toledo, Ore., woke up from dental surgery one day talking funny. She has found her life transformed since receiving dentures which left her with-depending on whom you ask-an Eastern European, Swedish or British accent. A year and half later her “foreign “accent remains.
Ms. Butler had all her top teeth and front bottom teeth removed in November 2009 because of gingivitis. A week later the swelling had gone away, but she still sounded strange. Her dentist told her she just had to get used to her new teeth.
But as weeks stretched on with no change, Ms. Butler did some online research and she diagnosed herself with Foreign Accent Syndrome, a medical condition with only a few dozen documented cases.
The syndrome is often the result of brain injury; though it is uncommon, most neurologists will see at least one case in their career, said Dr. Helmi Lutsep, professor and vice-chair of the Department of Neurology at Oregon Health and Science University. Sometimes a person just sounds slightly off; other times there may be a more dramatic-sounding accent, Lutsep said.
“We don’t know exactly how or why it happens, but it simply affects rhythm of language,” Lutsep said. “I’m absolutely convinced this is a real phenomenon. These people are not making it up.”
There have been only about 100 known cases of the syndrome since it was first reported in the 1940s. The most famous case was a Norwegian woman who was hit by shrapnel in World War 2; she developed a German accent and was ostracized as s result.
Other cases include a British woman from Devon who developed a Chinese accent following a migraine, and another British woman who had a stroke and now sounds French. There are simple explanations to these apparent phenomena. The woman from Devon obviously had a fetish for Chinese food and the other woman was obsessed with French kissing.
Neurologist Ted Lowenkopf says FAS affects only a small area of speech-just the pattern and intonation. Strokes and brain trauma usually cause major damage to the brain and leave people with far bigger speech problems than just a change in accent.Ms. Butler may have suffered a small stroke while she was under anesthesia, but she won’t know for sure unless she has a brain scan. (She says her insurance company won’t pay for one.)
In the meantime, it’s possible that Ms. Butler could get her American accent back through intensive speech therapy. But unlike other people with FAS who have become depressed by their change in accent, Ms. Butler likes her new one. She says it has made her more outgoing and is a good conversation topic.
Having heard and seen her on video, I believe she is suffering from MMS-Mrs. Miniver Syndrome because she sounds very much like the late Greer Garson, an English actress who won an Oscar in 1942 for playing the role of Mrs. Miniver. Ms. Garson’s posh English accent was the result of a silver spoon and a plum being placed in her mouth at a very early age to which Ms. Butler could attest. Greer Garson holds the dubious distinction of making the longest acceptance speech in Oscar history- 5 minutes and 30 seconds-which prompted the organizers to place a time limit on speeches and ban the use of silver spoons and plums as accent aids.
Since I became a US citizen in 2008 I have tried in vain to rid myself of my Welsh accent and adopt an American mantra .Until I read about Ms. Butler’s plight I thought I suffered from JWS; John Wayne Syndrome. My wife claims that each time I attempt an American accent I sound like the Duke, and she accuses me of walking like him too. Maybe there is something to this foreign accent syndrome after all.
Turning to another intriguing story from Oregon, the City of Portland drained off some 8 million gallons of its fresh water supply a few days ago. Why? Because some kid decided to take a leak while hiking with some friends.21-year-old Josh Seater was caught on surveillance camera urinating into the city’s reservoir; later telling police that he”had a pleasant buzz and I should have known better.” City officials however, freaked out and decided to flush 8 MILLION GALLONS OF DRINKING WATER down the drain.
Public health officials say, however, that urine is sterile in healthy people and that the urine in the reservoir was so diluted – perhaps a half pint in millions of gallons – that it posed little risk. How much did the estimated two cups of urine cost the city? Nearly $30,000. Nice one Portland.
Now I have been known to be caught in uncompromising situations with the desperate need to relieve myself of some bodily fluids. Normally one can find refuge behind an unsuspecting tree providing there is no thunder and lightning in the immediate vicinity. However I do recall an embarrassing episode on the way home from a skittles match a few years ago.
The twelve man team was traveling home in the early hours from Cardiff to Swansea having consuming copious amounts of Brains’ Dark and the infamous skull attack. In one voice we demanded the bus driver pull over on the hard shoulder for an emergency bathroom break. We quickly alighted the bus in a crossed legged motion, feverishly jumped over the crash barrier, and unceremoniously rolled down the embankment into the dark abyss landing in an ungainly heap of bruised limbs and egos.
Having undertaken a quick check for broken body bits and secured flies, we scrambled back up the bank, and sheepishly returned to the bus (I knew I couldn’t keep sheep out of this.) However there was a sense of satisfaction circulating the friendly confines of our charabanc; we had accomplished our mission and avoided damage to life, limbs or property. Tax payers were certainly not penalised by our lack of bladder control.
Postscript: I would like to thank readers of my blog for taking my hit counter past the 100,000 barrier. My anti-spam software appears to be eating all the comments regardless of status, and hopefully this will be rectified shortly.
“I have tried in vain to rid myself of my Welsh accent and adopt an American mantra .”
I shall post this on every border entry point into the Land of your Fathers in the vain hope that an apology will be demanded on behalf of you ex-fellow citizens.
By the way, I could see you more as Columbo rather than Big John.