In 1968 the American artist Andy Warhol said that “in future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.” This could not be truer for Mark David Chapman who was denied parole for the seventh time last week. Chapman shot John Lennon in 1980 outside the Manhattan apartment building where Lennon lived. Chapman was sentenced in 1981 to 20 years to life in prison after pleading guilty to second-degree murder.
At his previous hearing, Chapman recalled that he had considered shooting Johnny Carson or Elizabeth Taylor instead and said he chose Lennon because he was more accessible, that his apartment building by Central Park “wasn’t quite as cloistered.”
The former security guard said his motivation was instant notoriety but that he later realized he made a horrible decision for selfish reasons. Chapman can try again for parole in two years, but personally I would throw away the key to his cell and let him rot.
Chapman is only one of many millions who strive for their 15 minutes of fame. Closer to my home town, a 60 year old man living as a native American (an Indian) in Swansea won a court battle for his right to keep badger paws and eagle wings in his semi-detached home which he considered to be trappings of his Native American lifestyle.
Mangas Colaradas (which is his adopted Apache name) vowed to fight the court case on the grounds that it is part of his Apache life even though he has been nowhere near the Apache reservation 6,000 miles away and he lives in a three-bed semi in Townhill. Wait a doggone minute. When I was a teenager Townhill was generally regarded as the Wild West part of town where angels feared to tread, but the odd (very odd) pseudo American Indian wouldn’t look out of place.
Wearing his ceremonial head dress and snake’s head necklace probably left over from last year’s Halloween party, he was rain dancing with joy after charges were dropped by the Crown Prosecution Service before he gave his evidence. Ironically he concluded: “Common sense (oh yes his head dress was dripping with it) should have entered into it far sooner, but they just don’t understand my native way of life.” What happened to his tepee?
Returning to Uncle Sam’s side of the Atlantic, a thirty year old female American athlete, Lolo Jones, has been doing the rounds of the chat shows since returning from the Olympics in London. She finished fourth in the women’s 100 meters hurdles final, and intends to hang around for Rio in 2016. She’s reasonably attractive, but has the IQ of dish mop. I began to wonder why she was receiving a disproportionate amount of attention from the media when she claimed she was still a virgin. That will most definitely earn you fifteen minutes of fame.
Finally, 18 year old Tom Daly won a bronze medal for Team GB in the diving event on the last day of the games after failing miserably in the pair’s competition on the opening day of the Olympics when they were considered favorites for the gold. This boy hogged the headlines for nearly two weeks and for the life of me I don’t know why. Team GB won 19 bronze medals during the games but no other bronze star received the media coverage allocated to Master Daly. To his credit he did look cute in his speedo and fake tan and undoubtedly gave the gay community goose bumps.
I wonder what I could do to achieve my fifteen minutes of fame. Suggestions on a post card please, and I will treat the most original suggestion with the contempt it deserves.
