What’s with the title Dude?

It may seem bizarre to foreigners but there is something oddly endearing, even quirky, about the British honors system. Twice a year (the Queen’s birthday and New Year) peerages, knighthoods, dames and a variety of gongs and medals are meted out to recipients from the worlds of entertainment, business, military and sporting fraternities. Even Mr. and Mrs. Joe Blow sometimes receive an award for services rendered to Wheels on Meals or providing floral displays at the Women’s Institute.  Politicians are not forgotten either and many receive peerages (which seems quite appropriate) on retirement and subsequently put out to grass in the most exclusive men’s club in the world, The House of Lords.

In America, they pride themselves on living in a classless society and boast that one can achieves ones dreams and goals in the US of A without the need for a silver spoon in ones mouth. A little money helps of course, but Americans summarily dismiss the British aristocracy and landed gentry; particularly the range of titles on offer: duke, earl, count, marquis, viscount, baron, knight, dame and so forth.

Consequently, it is curious to me that American politicians retain their titles regardless of whether they retired, resigned or were defeated in an election. Messrs George Bush, George W. Bush, Clinton, and Carter are reverentially addressed as Mr. President. Carter was badly beaten in his re-election campaign and Gerald Ford was not even elected but retained the title.

Even Richard Nixon was addressed as Mr. President even though he was forced to resign office instead of facing impeachment. Sarah Palin resigned as Governor of Alaska half way through her term but is addressed as Governor Palin on political talk shows. The former speaker of the House of Representative, Newt Gingrich, is interviewed as Mr. Speaker. Madeleine Albright and Condoleezza Rice who both served as Secretary of State for a number of years are called Madam Secretary.

The only explanation I can discern from this weird process is that America is secretly envious of the British nobility system and decided to invent its own posturing. Tony Blair is no longer addressed as Prime Minister, but can look forward to receiving a peerage in his dotage. He could be re-invented as Baron Blair of Sedgefield which he served as Member of Parliament for 24 years

However, he may have to wait longer than most former prime ministers for his peerage as he was responsible for banning fox hunting long regarded as a popular activity practiced by the Nobility. Ironically he also abolished one of the oldest titles in the realm; Lord Chancellor who is summarily head of the judicial system in the UK. The post is now called Minister of Justice which wreaks of George Orwell’s futuristic masterpiece ‘1984.’

Winston Churchill refused a title which was offered him following his sterling efforts in World War 2. George 6th finally persuaded him to accept the “Order of the Knight’s Garter” which is a personal honor only a reigning monarch can bestow. Conversely one or two members of the aristocracy have renounced their titles. Most memorably, King Edward 8th abdicated in 1936 to be free to marry an American divorcee Wallis Simpson. He was downgraded to a Duke minus the prefix HRH: His Royal Highness. In the sixties, Tony Benn renounced his hereditary title, Viscount Stansgate, which allowed him to stand for Member of Parliament. knighthoods apart, parliamentarians are not allowed titles.

Over the years, American music icons have paid homage to the title process if one recalls Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Nat King Cole, Prince, and who can forget Lady Gaga. American sports have their own idiosyncrasy in the shape of anyone who has coached an NFL, NBA, NHL or College team and hereinafter addressed as “Coach.” Baseball managers are endearingly referred to as “Skipper”, but fortunately we are not subjected to the term too often.

Sarah Palin is being touted as possible presidential candidate, and if God forbid she was elected, she would probably assume the mantra of “Madam President, the great white hunter formerly known as Governor.” Speaker Newt Gingrich is testing the water and so is ex-Governor Romney each with his own former handle. The main protagonist of this absurd ritual of addressing guests by their former titles is a political talk show host, Sean Hannity, whose politics are slightly right of Attila the Hun. The irritating toe rag used to refer to every caller on his radio show as “you’re a great American and so are you Sean.”

For the sake of my fingernails being dragged across a black board, can we drop all the handles and just address political candidates or guests wheeled in to cure us of insomnia as either Mr. Mrs., or if you insist on being politically correct, Ms? I was a town planner by profession and I would be surely (don’t call me Shirley) be addressed by Mr. Hannity as Mr. Planner if he invited me onto his show. Quite frankly, it has a certain ring to it.

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