A Brief Return to the Masters

Congratulations to 21 year old Jordan Speith for winning the Master equaling the lowest aggregate score of Tiger Woods in 1997, and achieving more birdies in four rounds than any of his predecessors. I just hope he is aware that the American media has been looking for a poster child since the gradual decline of Tiger Woods. Believe me Jordan, those media whores will build you up, invading your privacy layer by layer, and then attempt to  destroy you for a cheap headline or two.

I trust his high school sweetheart is prepared for a roller coaster ride because she will be ideal bait for some of the disingenuous  media hacks scraping the bottom of the barrel for a hint of scandal or skeletons lurking in the cupboard.

I wish we could arrange a firing squad for the pompous Chairman, Billy Payne, whispering sycophant Jim Nantz, and Sir Nick Faldo, current owner of the biggest ego in the golf world. Didn’t anyone ever tell him there’s no “I” in “team?”

Can we stop treating the Masters other than a golf tournament. I was about to put my remote through my TV screen if I heard another moron referring to Augusta as this “special place.” Why do the American commentators need to whisper as if their commentary booth was overlookin a shrine?

Sixty three year old and two time Masters Champion Ben Crenshaw was playing in his last Masters before hanging up his clubs. I guess old champions like to say goodbye to the “patrons” and milk the applause and adoration before riding off into the sunset, but it was embarrassing. The man had completed two rounds 29 shots over par for goodness sake, but he walked down the 18th fairway with the air of a golfer whose name was on the top of the leaderboard. I was hoping the ground would swallow him up and he would disappear with an iota of dignity.

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Apart from the grinder, Nick Faldo, why do Englishmen love to finish second? Justin Rose was in contention at four shots behind Speith at the end of the 3rd round, and managed to reduce the arrears to two shots early in the final round. Unfortunately he dropped shots when Jordan Speith occasionally faltered, and he appeared  content to finish joint runner up with Phil Mickelson. Mickelson would probably have put more pressure on Speith if he had been paired with him  in the final group.

Spare a thought for Tiger Woods. He hadn’t played competitive golf since February, and like many other cynics, I didn’t believe he could make the cut after two rounds. He finished the tournament at a credible 5 under par despite having to pop a ligament back into his wrist during the final round. I didn’t realize ligaments were so flexible, but then Tiger is capable of regaling a tall story or two.

What do the following golfers have in common: Ricky Fowler, Lee Westwood, Sergio Garcia, Luke Donald, Ian Poulter, and Steve Stricker? Jordan Speith has one more major than these guys have put together.

CBS Network has covered the Masters for many years, but one of its regular golf commentators is conspicuous by his absence. During the network’s coverage 21 years ago in 1994, Gary McCord remarked that the 17th green was so fast that it appeared to be “bikini-waxed,” and that “body bags” were located behind that green for players who missed their approach shots.

Mr. Payne climb down off that high horse of yours for once, and allow CBS to reinstate the old blow hard in its commentary team for next year’s Masters. After all, it’s only a game and Augusta is just another golf course, isn’t it?

 

 

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