United States of Anomolies

I meant to write this post some weeks ago, but was a little distracted by one event or another. I was inspired, if that’s the correct word, by the dubious actions of Barak Obama, commander in chief of the US Armed Forces and weekend golf hacker. Anyway, below is a list  of what I consider American Anomolies:

  • Barak Obama exchanged Sgt Bowe Bergdhal who was held captive by the Taliban for five of their top commanders held at Guantanamo Bay. Don’t you think the exchange ratio is a little unbalanced in favor of the Taliban? Furthermore, six American soldiers were killed attempting to rescue Sgt. Bergdhal. To put icing on the cake of mismatches, Bergdhal allegedly deserted from his outfit.
  • On 4th July every year ESPN televises the annual hot dog eating contest from Coney Beach New York. The winner devoured 61 hot dogs in 10 minutes.  I’m not sure whether the TV executives consider hot dog eating a sport, but it is certainly a repulsive practice which doesn’t deserve any air time.
  • There are four major sports in America. Ice Hockey and Basket Ball are winter sports, but the playoffs and finals are played in June. Alternatively, baseball is a summer pastime, but the World Series is played at the end of October with players having to endure near freezing temperatures.
  • Baseball is obsessed with statistics, more so than the gentlemen’s game of cricket. However the media is obsessed with home runs, and to accommodate them, new stadiums are smaller than their older counterparts to make home run hitting easier. Similarly the pitchers’ mound rises and falls like the Syrian Empire rendering comparisons of stats between the modern era and the Golden Age as meaningless.
  • The fast food Chain” Waffle House” declared they would not be serving “Belgium (not Belgian either)waffles out of respect for the USA when they played Belgium in the quarter final of the World Cup. There’s one teeny weeny issue overlooked here; Waffle House doesn’t sell Belgium (nor Belgian) waffles at any price.
  • Americans don’t get it.204 countries compete in the FIFA World Cup which truly renders it a global affair. Major League Baseball has the World Series in which only two countries (USA and Canada’s sole representative, the Toronto Blue Jays) participate.
  • In the USA a man or woman can serve in the armed forces, die for his/her country, vote for the next president at  the age of 18, but can’t be legally served a drink until the age of 21.
  • Contrary to perceived public opinion, most Americans do not regard the Brits as “bosom buddies” despite being close allies in two World Wars and exchanging rock ‘n roll mantras. Somebody on ESPN recently referred to England as “that little island  nation off the west coast of Europe” which places the “close” relationship in perspective.

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