Archive for the ‘Atlanta’ Category

It’s Over and My Grandkids have gone back too!

Monday, November 2nd, 2015

The best team in the Rugby World Cup deservedly won through in the end. New Zealand defeated their arch rivals Australia 37-17 with Dan Carter picking up man of the match. But there’s the dilemma for me. Carter won the MoM award for his goal kicking performance and not for his pivotal role as fly half.  Every team in the tournament now plays the same style: crash, bang, wallop!!!

Most of the players are stretched across the field facing each other in rugby league style, and it’s all about the gain line. What happened to the dummy, side step or scissors movement? Line outs and scrums have been considerably reduced to side shows which isn’t a bad thing, but I don’t enjoy the game in the same way I used to.

Yes, Saturday’s game was a great exhibition of the modern style game, and everyone of the All Blacks display great handling skills which places them above the opposition. However size really matters in rugby now, and most of the three quarters are 6′ 4′ and 17 stone plus. What was significant in this World Cup was the fact that the four semi-finalists were Northern Hemisphere teams: New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, and Argentina. Wales can match these teams in terms of size and bulk, but they do tend to make crucial errors at inopportune times. When was the last time you saw a Welsh hooker running down the wing apart from Wind Street on a Saturday night?

Meanwhile, my daughter and her family flew over for a visit for 10 days. We rented a mini van and drove down to the Magic Kingdom in Orlando from Atlanta. It’s a 8 hour road trip including stops, but it’s a straight shot down I75. Experiencing Disney through the eyes of my 5 year old granddaughter and 2 year old grandson was truly magical and the long journey was well worth it. However, a DVD player in the mini-van was an essential item for entertaining the adults and children on board.

For anyone contemplating a trip to the Disney theme parks, take advantage of the “fast pass system” which allows you to” jump the queue” on some of the rides. I will never forget  my grandson shouting continuously “Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse” as we made our way around the Park. It was hot and crowded for a Monday in late October, and copious amounts of bottled water were consumed.

At the end of an eventful day the grandkids were understandably beginning to wane, and my wife and I grabbed the opportunity to ride Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain. Well Disney World brings the kid out in everyone!

We returned to Atlanta and visited one of its main tourist attractions, Georgia Aquarium. My grandson took full advantage of the wide open spaces and ran amok  screeching ” Goldfish! Goldfish! Goldfish” having been cooped up in mini-van for 8 hours the previous day.

Unfortunately they had to fly back to Blighty the night before and missed Halloween. Not to be out done, my granddaughter looking pretty as a picture in her Elsa dress, and aided and abetted by her brother dressed as “The Old Man of the Sea,” arranged for her own trick or treat at our front door. Priceless.

A Great Weekend for the Men in Crimson

Thursday, October 1st, 2015

There are similarities in my two sports teams other than they both wear red shirts. The Atlanta Falcons were coming off a 4-12 season and I didn’t believe they made sufficient moves to strengthen the team. Wales lost two of their star players, Leigh Halfpenny and Rhys Webb, to injury and I didn’t believe they would qualify from the group stage let alone win the World Cup.

Both teams came from behind  on the weekend to win against the odds. Wales had the unenviable task of trying to defeat England in their own back yard. They did so miraculously 28-25, but unfortunately lost yet another key player, Scott Williams, to injury. There was much to savor if like me, you’re a Welshman. The English media devoted columns to analyzing England’s chances while The Western Mail was the only national (albeit in the Principality) newspaper to give a detailed perspective on Wales’s chances.

The National media in England is so myopic that they still believe England can qualify for the quarter finals. They would have to beat Australia in order to progress which is asking for a near miracle. Ask Welsh fans, miracles do sometimes occur at Twickenham.

The Atlanta Falcons were playing the Dallas Cowboys away which is always a daunting task. However, the Cowboys had several players missing through injury and suspension, none more so than their quarter back Tony Romo which gave the Falcons a slight edge. Nine minutes into the game the Falcons were 0-14 down and the Cowboys running back, Randell, was running amok. He scored 3 touch downs in the first quarter. Atlanta managed two touchdowns of their own, but went into the locker room at halftime trailing 17-28.

The Falcons came out for the second half resembling a different team and won comfortably 39-28. There were two stellar performances from Devanta Freeman and Julio Jones. Freeman produced the best rushing performance since 2012 with 30 carries, 141 yards and 2 TDs. Julio Jones continued his demolition of NFL teams’ defenses with 164 yards, 12 receptions and 2 TDs.

Obviously, Tom Jones not only inspired the Welsh team on the weekend, but he got the message across to Julio Jones who must be a relative, or a kindred spirit. The Falcons are 3-0 on the season, one of only 7 teams left undefeated in the NFL. They are looking forward to two home games against Houston and Washington and on current form neither should present much of a challenge.

Similarly Wales have a trap game against Fiji tomorrow (Thursday) which shouldn’t present too much of a problem following their heroics on Saturday. But if my memory serves me correctly, Wales have lost to Fiji in a previous World Cup. Despite their run of injuries, the pack remains in tact. The Falcons need to wrap Julio Jones in cotton wool during the week and only let him loose on Sunday because he is the difference maker.

Speaking of dog soldiers, the unsung heroes of the pack, Falcons Head Coach was not satisfied with the Offensive Line during pre-season games and a week before the regular season signed 3 or 4 journeymen to protect the quarter back, Matt Ryan. Ignoring a few hiccups they have done a good job impressing Atlanta cynics; including myself.

I would still not place a bet on Wales winning the World Cup or the Atlanta Falcons winning the Super Bowl. But that doesn’t diminish the excitement and exhilaration they created for me and thousands of other fans last weekend. Go Falcons; Cymru am Byth!

Professional Sports and Media Whores.

Saturday, January 31st, 2015

Memo (that dates me) from editor: if you can’t find a story then make one up. That would appear to be the case when there is a two week gap between the NFL Conference Championships and the Super Bowl. This is dead time in the American sporting calendar. Save for mundane basketball  and hockey games there is not much going on.

The two teams to contest the Super Bowl ( Seattle and New England ) have been determined, and the week leading up to the big event is hyped up to turbo charge with endless, meaningless players and coaches interviews, analysis by retired players turned talking heads, and previews of the commercials specifically designed for the event. Don’t knock the Super Bowl commercials because more times than not they make better viewing than the actual game.

To prove my point regarding the dead zone, a story involving New England deflating match balls for their Championship game against Indianapolis has been running for nearly two weeks. They even managed to give it a name: “Deflategate.” The Patriots have a habit for courting controversy. A few years back they were involved in “Spygate” when they were caught illegally spying on their opponents training regimes. Apparently (I know, it’s a word I’ve come to rely on) the match balls were deflated prior to the game to give quarter back Tom Brady the edge. It didn’t appear he needed much assistance in routing the Colts 45-7.

Both quarter back and Head Coach pleaded their innocence, and the fall guy will be some lowly schmuck in the locker room. The punishment for this transgression will be the loss of a draft pick. The Patriots will take that in a heart beat because they usually trade away their picks and sign players cut by other teams turning them into super heroes in the process. Now that’s a story guys!

But here’s the kicker. If New England violated the rules as this long winded story implies then why not reverse the result and place Indianapolis in the Super Bowl? Answer: it’s a storm in the proverbial tea cup ( substitute super bowl) generated by the media whores who can’t think of anything better to write about.

Turning closer to home, the Atlanta Falcons decided to fire their Head Coach, Mike  Smith, following two desultory losing seasons. His time management left a lot to be desired and I’m pretty sure he will be late for his own funeral. Nice man, but he’d taken the franchise as far it could go.

So the Falcons jumped onto the merry go round  of potential candidates for the Head Coaching vacancy. The local media whores, not much different from their national brothers, were canvassing for the appointment of Rex Ryan recently fired from the New York Jets. He had just finished  a 4-12 losing season which was worse than previous incumbent Mike Smith. Ryan has not enjoyed  a winning season since 2009, so why all the fuss to hire him by the local media? He makes good copy. He is controversial with his off the wall interviews, he’s a blow hard, and he sucks his wife’s toes. I kid you not! He’s always good for a headline or two, but can he take his team to the promised land? I don’t believe so.

This unfortunate episode sums up the character of the man. The Falcons had interviewed him once and were planning to invite him back for a second interview when Falcons owner Arthur Blank’s mother died. The interview was put on hold while Mr. Blank attended to the funeral arrangements. True to form Mr. Ryan came back with an unforgettable statement: ” I had the impression the Falcons were dragging their feet, so I accepted the job with the Buffalo Bills. They gave me the impression that they really wanted me to be their Head Coach.” Good luck to the Bills handling the prima donna’s baggage.

I’m sure the January transfer window in the world of soccer was a brain child of the media. There is a down time after Christmas and the next round of the Champions league doesn’t kick off until March. Absurd rumors were circling the air waves pronouncing that Barcelona’s Lionel Messi and Real Madrid’s Gareth Bale were disenchanted with their clubs and they would be transferred to the Premiership during the transfer window. That is just as likely to happen as England winning the World Cup in 2018.

Unfortunately constant speculation in the press regarding Swansea City’s star striker, Wilfried Bony, became reality when Manchester City “made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.” I believe it is an unfair (not illegal) practice which allows the bigger, wealthier clubs to wave their cheque books at the mid table teams and prize away their  star players in the middle of the season.

The January transfer should be dropped, and teams assembled at the beginning of the season should determine their clubs’ destiny. Here “endeth” Daveswelshrarebits’ first lesson of 2015.

 

QBs and HCs

Friday, January 16th, 2015

 

The success of the National Football League can be attributed to its relatively short season compared to the other major sports in America. The regular season comprises 16 games played between September-December, and the playoffs are held during January leading to the Super Bowl on February 1st.

Last weekend was probably my favorite weekend of the season when we are reduced to four divisional  games with eight teams competing for the right to play in the two Conference Championship games; the winners of which compete in the Super Bowl.

An NFL team win or loses on the performance of the quarter back. He is the guy who pulls the strings and executes the plays devised by the coaches. Itemized below is my potted assessment of the roles played by the eight QBs on display last weekend:

  • Baltimore and Joe Flacco, threw for 4 touchdowns but also incurred 2 interceptions. Should have controlled the clock better to deprive the Patriots of a comeback. Not once but twice!
  • New England and Tom Brady, imperious and showed the world why he is one of the greatest QBs of all time.
  • Carolina and Cam Newton, “superman” deterred by a kryptonite defense.
  • Seattle and Russell Wilson, solid performance by Wilson, and with the help of a great running game, did enough to ensure a comfortable win.
  • Dallas and Tony Romo, probably the most overrated QB in the league. Nearly a match for Rodgers on this occasion  because Rodgers was playing virtually on one leg.
  • Green Bay and Aeron Rodgers, courageous performance by the regular season’s MVP. Hop- a- Long Cassidy pulled the strings in the second half for a memorable win.
  • Indianapolis and Andrew Luck, the evolution continues with Tom Brady next in his gun sights.
  • Denver and Peyton Manning, the old warhorse has finally been beaten by father thyme.

The regular season may only last four months, but the off the field circus continues unabated for the rest of the year. The carousel of hiring and firing of coaches takes center stage at the end of the season quickly followed by players’ free agency and the four day draft of college players.  Assessing the draft by the sports’ talking heads has developed into an art form.

My team, Atlanta Falcons, fired their coach Mike Smith following a disappointing 6-10 season. For some reason, the favorite to replace him was the boorish Rex Ryan recently fired from the New York Jets after posting a 4-12 losing record. The local sports media supported his appointment for some reason, but we dodged a bullet when he accepted  the head coaching job at Buffalo Bills.

The NFL coaching fraternity resembles a good old boys  network because no sooner does one of their own lose his job he is inevitably hired by another team. Half a dozen candidates have recently completed the circuit of teams with coaching vacancies while Mike Smith maintained a low profile. However, it is rumored he will be offered the Defensive Coordinator job at the Oakland Raiders by his friend and former boss Jack Del Rio who they recently appointed Head Coach.

Meanwhile we are down to the wire with four teams remaining:

Green Bay @ Seattle

Indianapolis @ New England.

 

A Wine Club Dinner in a Mailbox.

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2014

I have just returned from visiting my children and grand children in the UK. I missed some of the food over there and I took advantage of having kippers for breakfast (only once,) a splendid carvery  at a bargain price in Totnes, and  a liver and bacon casserole in The Old Inn, Widdicombe, Dartmoor. For my last night I plumped for a whole plaice (bones et al) which while very tasty tested my dexterity at maneuvering around the umpteen bones.

I didn’t realize that my stomach would react so ferociously to British culinary delights which I happily grew up with. Possibly it’s the march of time that’s taken its toll on my digestive system because it is 18 years since I emigrated to the USA. I was looking forward to making a Madras curry when I arrived home which may sound like a misnomer, but I’ve been eating curries from the age of 21. Swansea is regarded as the curry capital of the world, and there must be at least 60 Indian restaurants in the Swansea area. It may have something to do with the water or the  Welsh and Indian accents being very similar.

We hadn’t been home but for a few days when we were on our way to the bi-monthly wine club dinner. We enjoyed a baker’s dozen (13) in the club until one couple decided they could not cope with the various international cuisines that members were inspired to make. Their unique contribution to the menu was a spam casserole which consisted of two ingredients: spam and ketchup. The writing was on the wall when a few members complained of feeling very nauseas the next day.

We were back on an even keel, and the forthcoming dinner was of the Thai variety which I like very much.  The wine club is confined to our neighborhood so the drive isn’t a long one. Unfortunately the driveway to our hosts’ house is very steep and winding. To those familiar with Swansea it was tantamount to driving to the top of Kilvey Hill. For our international travelers, it favored the famous” zig-zag” Lombard Street  in San Francisco. Half way up the driveway one would encounter a formidable tree which would play an active role in later proceedings. Despite my pleadings my wife insisted we parked the car at the top of the drive near the front door. Heaven forbid we derive exercise climbing the steep gradient.

It is an eclectic group of people, but for some odd reason four of the eleven no longer drink wine. It was a mildly enjoyable evening and light hearted conversation filled the air. The food and wine were very palatable and members had made an effort with their pairings. What on earth do you pair with spam casserole you may well ask, rot gut?

Our evenings don’t go gently into the darkest night. They are usually over by 9.30pm when members begin to drift away. I don’t drive very well in the dark, but my wife didn’t relish reversing her car down the driveway and suggested one of the hostesses undertake the task for us.

At this point my male ego went into overdrive and I practically screamed out: “I’m a professional driver (which I am since I work part-time as a driver,) and I’m taking this baby down.” All well and good when you haven’t imbibed in copious amounts of wine particularly when you are making up a shortfall of 4 members.

I gave the impending obstacle a once over and discerned there were two bends to negotiate one of which was adjacent to the formidable tree. Very slowly and carefully I backed down the driveway cognizant of the formidable tree. It seemed like an eternity, but I miraculously reversed around the bends and mercifully avoided the tree. I was home and dry save for  a harmless little curve  egressing onto the highway which I failed to notice.

I triumphantly backed straight onto what I deduced as the highway and suddenly heard a sickening crunch. I immediately braked and pulled forward with the attention of  heading for home and sanctuary. Then I glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed the hostesses’ mail box lying prostrate on the ground. (For non-Americans  most houses have a free standing mail box situated on the road frontage. It comprises a wooden post approximately 4-5 feet high and a metal mail box sits on top of it.) I thought no problem; lean it back up and away to go. Unfortunately the post had snapped in two (hence the crunch,) and the box was badly dented.

I tried pushing the top half of the post into the ground, but it stood only 3 feet tall; good enough perhaps for a hobbit but unacceptable for the US Mail Service. Following a series of groveling apologies, we gave the bemused hostesses a cheque for $60 to pay for a suitable replacement, and my assurance not to interfere with reconstruction. My wife’s car, which is a sturdy Crown Victoria, was unscathed with barely a scratch.

Moral of the story……take a taxi. It’s cheaper!!!!

 

 

The Biggest Turkeys for Thanksgiving

Friday, November 28th, 2014

It’s the day after Thanksgiving and thanks to my Big Green Egg we enjoyed a succulent, juicy turkey for dinner. On the subject on turkeys listed below are some of the biggest ones for 2014:

  1. Barak Obama. I’m not going to validate this bozo by giving him his official title. How many other presidents would have sat back and allowed Americans to be beheaded by a terrorist organization? Answer; only one: HIM. This is the man who allowed Putin to bully him and Ukraine without any meaningful recourse.This is a man who should be impeached for overriding Congress and abusing his Executive Powers. This is the man who claimed that France are America’s greatest allies.
  2. Alex Salmond. The Scottish Independence vote had no chance with this used car salesman at the helm. He did not have an answer when UK Government informed him Scotland could not retain the Pound Sterling as a currency should they gain independence. The Bank of Scotland pulled the rug up from him when they announced they would move to London should Scotland win independence.
  3. Frank Wren. the general manager of the Atlanta Braves threw millions of dollars at mediocre players not fit enough to lace the cleats of former greats Chipper Jones, John Smoltz and Greg Maddux. Malcontent BJ Upton was given $75 million to behave like a clown in center field. Dan (Mr Magoo) Uggla was mercifully released but is still owed $19 million. Frank Wren was eventually shown the door, but not before he ensured  $65 million is tied up with the remaining years of Upton and Uggla’s contracts.
  4. Mayor of Atlanta and his Chief of Transportation. In January, heavy snow and frozen ice conditions were forecast well in advance of the anointed time. These two gentlemen chose to ignore the impending storm and the City of Atlanta was brought to its knees leaving thousands of motorists stranded.
  5. Head Coach Mike Smith of the Atlanta Falcons. Clearly Mr. Smith missed the seminar on time management. Two games were blown this season due to his  incompetence at controlling the clock when his team were minutes from victory. The game staged in London against the Detroit Lions was more embarrassing since it was played out on a global stage.
  6. Luis Suarez. The little man chose to audition for the new Dracula movie by biting a chunk out of an Italian defender in the middle of  a World Cup football match.
  7. Brendan Rodgers. Tasked with replacing Dracula wannabe, Luis Suarez, Liverpool spent $190 million on a bunch of “garden shed” players. After a winless November, Liverpool are languishing in 12th place in the Premiership and struggling to remain in the Champions League. Meanwhile Rodgers is adamant that he is the greatest manager in Europe.
  8. Tom Watson. Eight time major champion and former winning Ryder Cup captain was plucked from the knacker’s yard to right the floundering American ship. Unfortunately he was completely adrift from his players who could not relate to a “legend;” some young and immature enough to call him granddad.
  9. Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return. Hollywood’s animated movie has not fared very well; Box Office: $19 million, Budget: $70 million, Return: 27%. The only thing that will be “Frozen” on this movie will be its assets.
  10. The Welsh rugby team. Wales have not beaten the All Blacks since 1953 when Bleddyn Williams was captain and the late Cliff Morgan was fly half. It’s not a mental thing dummy. They are quite simply better than us.
  11. Everyone who left Southampton FC in the summer.

Speaking of New Zealand, bring on Black Friday and Cyber Monday.

The King is Dead; Long Live the King

Monday, August 11th, 2014

Rory McIlroy’s second major of the season may finally put the Tiger era to rest, but don’t count on it. The American sports media continues its irrational obsession with Tiger being the face of golf. They lament the fact that the number of people taking up the game is on the decline because of the waning powers of Woods. Realistically, the attraction of the sport for black people probably coincides with the demise of their champion.

Local talking heads on the sports channel in Atlanta were whining that the PGA Championship would not be good viewing on the weekend because their poster boy had missed the cut. How many other golfers receive intense TV coverage when they are six over with the completion of two rounds?

The obsession with Tiger Woods continued this morning (Monday 11th August) at Tom Watson’s press conference where the agenda was the forthcoming Ryder Cup. Tiger can only be in the team if he is one of Captain Watson three picks. Journalists peppered Watson with questions on whether he would select an unfit and out of form Tiger Woods for the Ryder Cup. Watson sensibly replied that he would pick him if he was healthy, but avoided the issue of his lack of form. Tiger does not intend playing competitive  golf between now and the Ryder Cup in six weeks.

One journalist had the temerity to ask Watson if he trusted Tiger Woods.  Watson hesitated for a moment and eventually replied: “Yes of course I do! (but thinking not with my daughter.)

Returning to the final round of the PGA Championship, it turned out to be compelling viewing. At the beginning of the round several players were in contention of Rory McIlroy who led by one shot from an Austrian not named Arnie or Adolph. By the turn, there were four players with a realistic chance of winning the tournament; the No 1 player in the world (Rory,) the young pretender Ricki Fowler, the middle aged Scandinavian with oodles of talent Henrik Stenson, and the old magician Phil Mickelson.

Approaching the 10th tee, McIlroy was 3 shots behind Fowler. Rory’s second shot following a perfect drive down the fairway was an exocet missile that curved from left to right landing approximately 10 feet from the pin. McIlroy took his time and knocked the putt in the hole for an eagle on the Par 5. This proved to be the pivotal hole as his rivals proceeded to drop shots coming home. McIlroy made a birdie on the 12th hole and the championship was back in his clutches winning eventually by one shot from Phil Mickelson.

McIlroy has won his last three tournaments; The Open, the Bridgestone and the PGA Championship. He gets the job done on the back nine which separates him from his fellow competitors. Can he win as many majors as Tiger Woods (14) let alone Jack Nicklaus who holds the record at 18? Rory admitted that he has been totally  focused on golf since his public break up with Caroline Whatever, and this has  proved to be the reason for his current rich vein of form. Whether he can retain that type of focus for X number of years is anyone’s guess, but it will be fun watching the best player in golf attempting to transform the record books.

 

 

Granny and Grampa Grabbed by the Fuzz

Tuesday, May 27th, 2014

Not too long ago my wife and I decided to spend a day watching the Air Show at Peachtree DeKalb Airport in Atlanta. It’s a relatively short car ride from home, so we packed a cooler with a few beers, sandwiches and bottles of water to stave off dehydration in the midday sun.

We paid the $10 parking fee and meandered towards the spectator area which was festooned with temporary stalls selling cheap knick knacks of the variety that had some loose connection with aviation. Little children were clamoring to have their names metallically stamped on World War 2 style dog tags. Their brothers or sisters were tottering around carrying a ball of candy floss perilously balanced on a fragile looking stick.

I pulled the cooler behind me  that housed our precious provisions while trying desperately to catch up with my wife who was carrying the folding chairs and other miscellaneous items required to establish a base camp. She was fiendishly scanning the spectator area in an attempt to locate the optimum spot from which to view the forthcoming air show.

We settled for an uncompromising spot on a piece of warm tarmac surrounded by young families where dental braces appeared to be the fashion statement of the day. We made ourselves as comfortable as possible, and prepared to break open a couple of beers to begin the day in a civilized fashion.

However, my wife looked around the increasing throng of humanity, and acutely observed that nobody was drinking beverages of an alcoholic nature. She did a reconnaissance mission of the area, and spoke to a lady hosting the local radio station’s stall.

She duly returned to our vantage point, and reported there were no signs barring the consumption of alcohol. The local radio station lady said several other people had asked her whether alcohol was allowed, but she didn’t know. She gave my wife a couple of Styrofoam cups which she suggested would be less conspicuous than bottles of beer.

My wife duly poured the beer into our cups, broke out the sandwiches and crisps, and we laid back in our folding chairs ready to be entertained by those magnificent men in their flying machines.

Thirty minutes had elapsed and we had been  overawed by the breath taking skills of pilots executing death defying acrobatics in a variety of single wing aircraft and bi-planes. I was just about to take another sip of my beer when we were unceremoniously surrounded by four burly cops armed to the teeth with pistols, jack boots and walkie talkies. I’m being kind when I described them as burly. They were indeed fat to the point where they were bursting out of their uniforms, and I can understand the analogy of comparing  police to pigs when I’m subjected to their uncivilized behavior.

My wife and I were trapped in our low lying folding chairs looking up at our invaders. The one with the stripes snorted: “Is that beer in your cups?’ “Huh yes…” I replied. “Do you have more beer in that cooler?” Now if I wanted to be a smart ass and spend the rest of the day in jail I would have replied: “Yes; would you like one?” But my better half  courteously replied: “Yes, but there are no signs prohibiting the consumption of alcohol.”

One of the other invaders pompously said: “It’s a County Ordnance which prohibits the consumption of alcohol in public events of this nature.” Another smart ass comment came to mind (Sorry Officer, I left my dog eared copy of the  County Ordnances in the back pocket of my speedos which are hanging up to dry at home.) I was holding the cup to my mouth  as an act of defiance when PC Plod ordered us to toss the beer out of the cups (not on the floor,) take the cooler back to our car, and as he was in a benevolent mood, we may be allowed to return providing we wagged our tails between our legs.

She who must be obeyed does not like confrontations, and apologized for our misdemeanor while I wisely kept my mouth shut, but could not prevent steam emanating from my ears. PC Plod further informed us that they had received a complaint from one of our fellow spectators who maintained they could smell alcohol over the overwhelming fumes of jet fuel. Again it was not the time or place to point out to the officer the absurdity of his statement.

We packed up our belongings like good citizens, and headed for the friendly confines of the 57th Fighter Squadron, a local hostelry situated on the edge of the airport. We were able to watch the remainder of the Air Show drinking capricious amounts of wine and beer without further interference from the local constabulary. We had contemplated setting up camp there earlier, but decided we would have a better view from within the airport. We live and learn don’t we?

Postscript: Following our outrageous treatment at the hands of over officious lawmen, we bought a canoe which we intend to take out on a lake far from prying eyes where we can drink our beer in peace. Watch out for frogmen bearing handcuffs.

Quirky Memories of Christmas Past

Saturday, December 28th, 2013

.Whenever I open a can of tuna my thoughts turn to a Christmas many moons ago. My marriage had broken down and I would not be seeing my children on Christmas Day. I ended up at my brother’s home and one thing led to another with me storming out of the house just before the turkey was placed on the table. I drove 45 miles home smoldering all the way. I slammed the front door shut, closed all the curtains, unplugged the phone, opened a can of tuna and sat down to watch an “Only Fools and Horses” special, or it could have been the “Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show.”

Suddenly I realized I had left my parents stranded at my brother’s house. Luckily my brother’s father-in-law gave them a ride home. Later that night I furtively drove over to my mum’s expecting a deserved torrid reception, but she was very concerned for me. She smiled and said: “You should have told me you were leaving; I would have come with you!”

My first date with my ex-wife was at the Christmas office dance in Mumbles. She lived on the other side of town and was staying the night at her girlfriend’s parents’ house. The girl’s parents were very snooty and during a conversation asked their guest if her father had any hobbies. She replied he enjoyed horse racing, and they asked how many horses her father owned. She replied sheepishly that he didn’t own any, but he liked to bet on them!!

It doesn’t snow very often in Swansea, but a few years ago we were supplied with the white stuff on New Year’s Eve.  My wife had flown over from America and we were enjoying the festivities at home in Tycoch. To celebrate the New Year, she adorned a long fleece coat, stepped out the front door and lay on her back in the snow flailing her arms and legs to create a snow angel. One or two of the neighbors were twitching at their curtains totally bewildered by the appearance of an angel. I guess it’s an American thing.

One year before we were married I flew over to America to spend Christmas with my future wife. One of her favorite activities during the festive season was selecting a live tree from the Christmas tree farm near to her home. This is a time when size does matter not to mention thickness, stature, coloring and type.  We duly arrived at the farm with the temperature approaching 75 degrees, and armed with a saw, we set out in search of the perfect tree.  She immediately spotted one that matched all her requirements, but chose to peruse the rest of the crop just in case there was a better tree lurking in the background.

Two or three hours later, we returned to the first tree she liked and duly felled it in lumberjack fashion. I’m not sure whether my internal temperature had exceeded the external temperature, but she did mention something about me resembling a kettle about to boil.

My wife loves surprise gifts at Christmas which drives me crazy. She won’t allow me to buy her clothes. She has a Kindle so I can’t give her books, and her music tastes are quite eclectic. My standby was usually a jewelry store located in Stone Mountain. But on Christmas Eve, much to my horror, I discovered it had gone out of business. I was at my wit’s end, devoid of ideas, and the only gift I had bought her was a vanity mirror. On Christmas morning the base of the tree was stacked with my presents from her while the vanity mirror stood alone. I’m still not sure to this day whether she wanted to laugh or cry. On reflection she was definitely in a state of shock and awe.

I hope you all have a happy and healthy New Year.

 

The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down (with apologies to Joan Baez)

Saturday, October 26th, 2013

A couple weeks ago (I should have written this post earlier, but I don’t have an editor breathing down my neck) the cities of Los Angeles and New York brought Atlanta professional sports teams to their knees. Divided by only a couple of hours the LA Dodgers defeated the Braves 4 games to 1 in the post season playoffs, and the New York Jets flew into town to defeat the Falcons 30-28.

Ironically the Atlanta teams led in their contests only to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in the last few minutes of the game. The Braves came from behind to lead the Dodgers 3-2, but gave up a two run homer in the 8th innings. Craig Kimbrel, the best closer in baseball, twiddled his thumbs while he watched journey man David Carpenter be put to the sword. Meanwhile The Falcons scored a touchdown to lead 28-27 with two minutes to go. Incredulously, they couldn’t prevent rookie quarter back Geno Smith from engineering a 60 yard march down the field to place his kicker in range for a field goal and win the game.

The Falcons began the season with high expectations. They finished the previous season with an impressive record 13-3 and were within one play of the Super Bowl only to come up short against a buoyant San Francisco team. Tony Gonzalez was persuaded to delay his retirement for one more season, and he did so gladly believing this was the team that would finally give him a well-deserved Super Bowl ring. To be honest,  the Falcons over achieved last season. They won several games by a field goal margin or less, and by the same token this season’s defeats (4 out of 6) have been by similar margins.

The team has been decimated by injuries. Ten starters are lost for the season or sidelined for several weeks. Bierman, Jackson, Jones, Ewing, Johnson, Weatherspoon, Roddy White need I go on? Well I’m going to anyway. There were weaknesses for all to see last season, but they were not adequately addressed. They have one of the worst pass rush records in the league, the offensive line doesn’t protect a $100 million quarter back, the corner backs can’t tackle, and they don’t have a dominant line- backer.

Meanwhile the Braves won 96 games in the regular season but have not won a post season series since 2001. Unfortunately it’s not surprising. Yes, six of the line-up hit 20 plus homers in the season, but most of the time it was against moderate pitching. Brian McCann went 0-13 in the series they lost to the Dodgers. Elliot Johnson who replaced the hapless Dan Uggla went 1-14, Justin Upton
2-14 and Heyward 3-18. B J Upton sitting on a $75 million contract hit for a .184 average in the regular season and was 25th on the roster for the post season.

There are several questions that need to be addressed by the two Atlanta teams:

  1. Should Frank Wren, the Braves general manager be fired? He gave Dan Uggla a 4 year contract at $13 million a year on the basis of being a Braves killer. B J Upton was awarded a $75 million contract which was an exorbitant amount of money for an average player. Who can forget $60 million wasted on pitcher Derek Lowe? Based on the fact that the Braves Organization is a middle income earner, money cannot be wasted on big contracts and therefore Wren should be shown the door.
  2. Should Thomas Dimitroff, the Falcons general manager be fired? Quite simply, yes! His draft picks have proved to be mediocre at best and free agents have not set the house on fire. Matt Ryan was awarded a $100 million contract prior to this season, but little attempt was made to protect him by improving a porous offensive line.
  3. Should Dan Uggla be traded? Uggla has two years remaining on his contract and is owed $26 million. The man had the worst hitting average in baseball last season, .179. He was fitted with contact lenses in the summer and had Lasik surgery in August to improve his vision, but to no avail. The Braves would have to eat $20 million of his contract if they were to trade him, but it makes sense and he has to go.
  4. Should Tony Gonzalez be traded? He is arguably the Falcons’ best player right now, but deserves to fulfill his dream of winning a Super Bowl. If the Falcons lose another game before the trade deadline (October 26, 2013) which is likely, then Gonzalez should be offered the opportunity to move to a contending team.
  5. Should free agents Hudson and McCann be offered new contracts? Hudson is recovering from a broken ankle and is 38 years old. He is too old to be the ace on the staff and needs to be put out to pasture. McCann will command a $100 million contract and is simply not worth it. He is only 30 years old but plays like a middle aged man, and his performance in the post season was truly pathetic. So it’s farewell to Tim and Brian.

I am often accused of viewing my glass as half empty rather than half full, but I prefer to call myself a realist. I get irritated when Fredi Gonalez, manager of the Braves, claims his players were over excited when they lost the opening game to the Dodgers. I would have more respect for the man if he admitted they sucked!!! Say good night Joan…….good night Joan.